Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
