How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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