miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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