yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
