I'm going to jail i love you
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
