Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
