god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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