i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
