I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
