Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize