So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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