i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
