it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
