we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
