Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
