you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
