I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
soo... how was my night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
