OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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