Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
