I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize