I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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