It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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