Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
