I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
