I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
