so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
