To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
