What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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