I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
