Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
