you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
