Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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