sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize