I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
