Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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