Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
