is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am spending my child support on dildos
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
smell my finger.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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