I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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