Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
