I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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