3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
