It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize