Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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