ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
