everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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