There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
