Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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