I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My dick has a subreddit
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
