I am puke
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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