champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
