Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
