You're so nebulous sometimes
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
