I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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