seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
