there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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