there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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