Say something about gay babies.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
