Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
