I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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