I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
