Heybabeimwearingurpanties
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
