Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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