2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
