New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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