ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
