capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
