Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
