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standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
