I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
