so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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