Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
